A Date That Will Live in Infamy

April First, Nineteen Ninety-Eight, A Date That Will Live in Infamy

I have been married twice. The first time, I married my high school sweetheart. The second time, I married for true love. Today, I have no sweetheart or true love. Well, actually I do have a true love but she's married to someone else.

For many people marriage goes through predictable stages. In the first stage the two people meet and some sort of mutual coincidence happens; love. They form a bond, learn about each other, and all that loving! That is why people get together; all that loving. And I don't just mean sex. The stories and the real interaction; caring about what the other says and lapping it up like a thirsty dog. "There was this time..." "You really did that!? That's amazing!" When I met my second wife, I knew she was THEE ONE! We talked for hours and hours. We wrote each other love notes. We had long phone calls and neither one wanted to hang up first. And ooohhh the sex!

But eventually the fire seems to want for fuel. Love is still there, but the newness has worn off. Some of the stories get repeated. "Did I ever tell you about the time..." "Yes, honey but it's a good story. Tell me again. I like the way you tell it." Your love may still be solid but you are on the marriage plateau. This stage can vary in length from months to years and it is not the same for both people. One usually tires of the whole deal before the other.

And then, somewhere along the way, things go horribly wrong. The marriage drops off into the grand canyon. "Did I ever tell you about the time..." "Yes, about fifty times. Can't you see I'm reading?" This is the beginning of the end or what I call the roommate syndrome. Compatibility turns to irritability. It's either divorce or year after year of hostile tolerance. Unfortunately, one of the two people in a relationship may not realize how close the end is until they are told flat out. "I want a divorce."

In a sneak attack, on April 1, 1998, my true love told me she wanted a divorce. I never saw it coming. It would have been a real good April Fool's joke. But as it turned out, I was just a fool.

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