Colorful Language

Colorful (expletive deleted) Language

(Warning this blog contains nasty language.)

I swear. I wish I didn't. It seems to me that swearing is an ignorant replacement for intelligent speech. If people had to replace swear words with nouns and adjectives, they would have to think longer before they spoke. But then they would seem slow and plodding.

I am in public a lot and overhear many conversations every day. I am amazed how unabashedly people use filthy language. I must admit that I am a hypocrite. When someone else swears I think that they should control themselves but when I swear it's okay. Although, I am more of an emotional swearer. I don't use foul language descriptively. I use it emotionally.

When describing a bad driving experience to a coworker, I probably wouldn't say, "So there I was driving along and the fuckin' guy cut me off!" I would probably say, "So there I was driving along and this guy cut me off!" But on the road, during the actual event, I would have yelled at the top of my voice, "FUCKERRRR!"

You learn to swear when you are learning to talk. In most homes I know of, swearing is taboo. It was in mine. But with my buddies it was cool to swear. It was also funny to fart and burp. I was so proud of myself that I could go home and never slip in front of my parents, but back with the boys I could swear with the best of them!

As I got older I began to ponder whether swearing was even bad at all. What is the difference if you say, "Gee Bob, I think you're full of crap!" or "Gee Bob, I think you're full of shit!" He is insulted either way and doesn't care if you said crap or shit. And for me, crap and shit mean exactly the same thing in that context. So why can't I say shit? I could say, "I fucked my wife last night." And people would cringe, or I could say, "I had sex with my wife last night." Not so bad. But it means the same, why is saying it the first way so bad?

In recent years I have tried hard to control my language. Using more descriptive language makes me feel better about myself and others seem to respect me more because I speak well. Also, when I do swear, it carries more power. Since I don't use swear words very often, people realize that when I do swear, what I am saying is more important and that they should be more attentive.

The bottom line is that swearing is bad because society generally thinks it is bad. Words are taboo because words are taboo. It doesn't have to be logical. That is just the way it is, so you can either conform or not. Ask Howard Stern. He has been fined more money for bad language than I will make in my whole fucking life! Sorry.

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