Hold That Line

Hold That Line

I drive my car every day. I love to drive and though it may not sound like I'm happy when I do, I love to complain vehemently and loudly at other drivers who are not good at driving. Sometimes I get very carried away and I catch myself. I think about what would happen if the other driver could actually hear me.

The other day I was driving along on a major local road the passes through my town. The speed limit is 35 M.P.H. and the road is five lanes wide. At intersections the middle lane is used for left turn lanes and in between, the middle lane is for turning left into various driveways, strip malls, and businesses. This median lane is delineated by yellow lines and left turn arrows back-to-back for each direction. The arrows are inviting you to use this middle lane so that two lanes of traffic can continue to flow around you as you wait for an opening to turn.

The way to use the median, so you don't slow down all the traffic behind you, is to anticipate your turn, signal, and pull into the median before you slow down. That way it all keeps moving, everybody's happy. But some people are idiots and don't know how to deal with this situation and boy do I let them have it. "Stupid idiot! Get on the freakin' median!" I shouted. And the guy in front of me blocking my way, and about ten cars behind me, stared at me in his mirror. He heard me because we both had our windows down and I really shouted. I have to admit I was embarrassed. Then, even though he had an opening and could have turned sooner, he waited just a few seconds extra and stared at me in his mirror before making the turn.

I think that some people are confused or even intimidated by the traffic lines painted on the road. This road I am talking about is a beautiful five lane wide asphalt road. It has no physical interruption from one curb to the other. But some people follow those lines like they are physical barriers! And since the lines that describe the median are yellow, some people won't even cross them. I have sat behind people who wait in the driving lane to make the left turn because they simply don't understand the median at all. Sometimes I wish I was driving a big truck with an big indestructible front bumper and I could just push those dummies right onto the median... Not really! (Well, kinda.)

About the yelling thing, I think of it as therapy. I used to commute long distances to work and I worked as an on-site repair man for many years, so I have driven a lot. The worst thing you can do is hold it all in and take it home with you. Better to get it all out. Yell, scream, kvetch and go on. Acting insane can keep you sane.

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