Cakewalk

Cakewalk

I am writing this article to say that I am sick and tired of all the documentaries that say how great the two wars in Iraq were from a military standpoint. They were routs. And even though most experts overestimated how many of our people we would lose, there was never any doubt that we would win in a cakewalk. We killed so many Iraqis, soldiers and civilians, they couldn't be counted!

First war; 383 U.S. Troops and Other Killed - 50,000 Iraq Troops and 90,000 Iraq Civilians Killed.

Second War; 345 U.S. Troops and Other Killed (during actual war) - 25,000 Iraq Troops and 40,000 Iraq Civilians Killed.

Both wars; all nationalities during and after the actual combat - OVER 200,000 PEOPLE ARE DEAD AND 400,000 WOUNDED, DISABLED, OR SICK!

These wars could be compared to the most totally uneven football game of all time, the 1985 Chicago Bears VS the 1986 Calumet Park Mighty-Mite Jr. Peewee Team. "Well Bob, it was a great game! Chicago just killed Calumet Park! Let's see... Chicago scored 247 points in the first quarter and Chicago's Running Back, who gained 720 yards in that quarter had to sit down with a blister on his right heel. Just a second... This just in... The 17 Calumet players taken to Memorial Hospital are all in critical condition... OH GOODNESS! Their Quarterback and their Center are DEAD!"

Boxing; a mismatched bout; The Ring Announcer moves to the center of the ring, pulls down the microphone, and calls out, "IN THIS CORNER, AGED 35 YEARS, AT SIX FOOT EVEN AND 215 POUNDS, WITH A RECORD OF 39 AND 3, 20 VICTORIES BY KNOCKOUT, THE HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION OF THE WORLD... RRRRRAPID FIRE, CHRISSSSSS... BYRD!" He pauses as the crowd cheers. Then he continues, "AND IN THIS CORNER, AGED 68 YEARS, AT FIVE FOOT EIGHT AND 132 POUNDS, IN HER FIRST RING APPEARANCE SINCE HER DIVORCE FROM TOM HAYDEN, FIVE TIME OSCAR NOMINEE, PROUD GRRRRRRANDMOTHER... HANOI JAAAAAANE... FONDA!" The crowd moans in fear. As the fight begins the commentator says, "Well here it is Bob, the highly anticipated match is finally underway... OH MY GOD! ONE PUNCH. A BLAZING FAST UPPERCUT TO JANE'S CHIN! HER HEAD WAS JUST KNOCKED OFF AND INTO THE FIFTH ROW! IT'S OVER... IT'S OVER! BYRD REMAINS THE CHAMPION! JANE'S REMAINS ON THE CANVAS!"

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