Yawns

Yawns

I yawned the other day. Well, I yawn every day, probably. Anyway, the other day when I yawned, I covered my mouth. It started me thinking about the fact that I have seen other people yawn, some cover their mouths, but some do not. Is it a matter of good breeding? Or just a mama's insistence? My mom pointed out to me that sometimes saliva squirts out in a spray so you must cover your mouth to prevent this. Not covering my mouth is not an option. Not covering your mouth is tacky.

I found that I cover my mouth with my palm facing my face. I have seen others cover their mouths differently. Some use the back of their hand. Some use a slightly opened fist. Some even use their forearm. In the morning sometimes I give a big yawn combined with a full body stretch. I don't cover my mouth because my arms are up in the air like an excited football referee signaling a touchdown. There have been times that I have yawned so hard or so much that I have had cramps in the muscles in my face and neck. That is really painful.

The coolest thing about yawns is that the are communicable. When I see someone yawn, I do it too. And I have noticed that when I do it, others around me do too. Why is that? Now that I am thinking about it, laughing, crying, whistling, and vomiting can be passed along also.

I think we yawn more when we are tired or bored. But somewhere I heard that yawns are caused by lack of oxygen. The last couple of years of marriage, my wife used to yawn if I spoke to her for more than 30 seconds. I have definitely yawned during President Bush's speeches, when I wasn't laughing, crying, or calling him stupid. I'm sure most people who have gotten this far reading this are yawning right now.

The government needs to do more study on the subject. Yawning may be one of the biggest causes of lower worker productivity ranking right up there with playing computer solitaire. Workers who are unproductive get fired and place a strain on the Workman's Compensation system. I think $1,000,000,000 should do it. We'll take the money from Medicare.

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