I Saw A Thirty Foot Tall Santa

I Saw A Thirty Foot Tall Santa

It was one of those ballistic nylon blow-up things with the fan on the bottom. Standing in the snow covered grass, surrounded by the circular driveway of a pretty big mini-mansion, it waved gently, testing the tie-down ropes.

As I looked at him, he began to come alive. Oh my God, it's Mega-Santa; no it's Sant-Zilla! He's making a list, it's 167 feet long, and he's not gonna check it twice! You better watch out! You better not cry! He doesn't care if you're naughty or nice. He's coming to your town! Sant-Zilla will put coal in your stocking and you'll like it or he'll shove it up your ass!

I wanted to take a picture of myself in front of him but it was raining. The only Santa I've seen that was bigger was in Macy's Christmas Parade. I might go back on Christmas if the weather clears.

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